I started blogging in December 2011 after my son, Reece, was diagnosed with a rare bone marrow disorder. You can read the posts of that blog on www.likeoliveshoots.wordpress.com. After six months of difficulties, complications, and setbacks, he passed away on July 5, 2012. Grief-stricken, we moved forward trusting in God’s sovereign plan for his life and for us.
Less than two years later, on April 15, 2014, my husband died by suicide. I was left alone, with three tiny children and a web of deception that my husband had left in the wake of his death. My secure life–so I thought–really had not been secure at all. The things in my life that once seemed normal were suddenly foreign. I felt like a prisoner to what he had done. It wasn’t the suicide alone. He had spent our money in ways I had no idea (even to this day) he had done. We were in massive debt, unbeknownst to me, and I was left to deal with it. No answers; just questions. No husband. Nothing. Due to the many twists and turns I faced, I decided to stop writing. I needed space to resolve, to rest, and to heal.
I spent five intense years working to get my life back in the aftermath of my late husband’s decisions. Looking back, I have no clue, other than by God’s grace, how I made it through that time. I had no idea what was in store for me.
Uprooting. Grief. Selling a home. IRS. Renting. Paying for someone else’s wrongdoings. Dating. Raising a family. Single-parenting. Re-entering the working world. Remarriage. PTSD. New baby. Military life. Cutting off toxic relationships. Therapy. Loss of friends. Moving. Dealing with what had happened. More uprooting. Recovery. Getting my life back.
It has not been easy. God has been faithful.
During a seven-year life desert, God has restored things those things that felt barren and made them new. He worked in my life-spaces that seemed desolate and restored what had dried and appeared to be dead.
After a four-year hiatus, I have decided to begin writing again. I crave the creative space to release my thoughts. Additionally, this part of life has, at many times, felt isolating. It’s hard to find people who can relate to the combination of hardships that I have experienced, yet there are many people who are dealing with difficult things. Financial hardship. Disappointment. Betrayal. Loss. Abandonment. Personal failures. Mental health issues. Trauma. Grief. These are topics that are usually suffered in private. I have a passion to write, so that others who are suffering might feel a connection.
My life isn’t just about my hardships. It’s about restoration. Hope. Perseverance. Faithfulness. Joy. Healing. New beginnings. I pray my writing brings hope and connection to others who may be struggling or in need of encouragement and connection.
And in everything, the glory belongs to God.