A Few Words About Me

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If I was telling someone about myself a year ago, this is how I would describe me:

I believe in Jesus.  I’m in my early 30’s.  I am a happily married, stay-at-home mom of three beautiful children.  I have my master’s degree in human resources.  I love to run.  I am an anxious person, but I’m a work-in-progress.  I’m not particularly outdoorsy; that is, I marvel at God’s creation, but I don’t like bugs, waking up in dewy grass, or anything that involves “roughing it”.  I am a home-body; I tend to get homesick…even on vacation.  I love to cook when I am prepared to do so.  My favorite season is spring; my favorite color is green.  I care greatly about what others think of me and I tend to be a very private person.  I write better than I speak, but in general, I enjoy communicating with others.  I am an extremely honest person; I like to think it is because it is a great quality of mine, but likely it has more to do with my anxiety and my concern about what others think of me.  (Hey, just being honest here.)  I have a dry sense of humor.  I can be very, very sarcastic–perhaps to a fault.  I have a great deal of empathy towards others.  I love God, my husband, my kids, my family, my friends, and my life.

Today, most of these things are still true.  However, my husband and I had our lives turned upside down in the fall of 2011 when our oldest child, Reece, was diagnosed with a life-threatening, pre-cancerous condition.  He passed away in July 2012 from complications of a stem cell transplant.  And the reality is, the process of his transplant and him passing away has changed our lives forever.  I would still say that the above things are true.  But if you ask me today how I would describe myself I would say:

I love Jesus and desperately need Him.  I love my husband and my kids and yearn for the day we can all be together again.  I want to figure out my life’s purpose and then be called Home.  I know my life has a purpose and it is ultimately to glorify the Lord.  I know God loves me and I want to live a life that demonstrates that love toward others.  I miss Reece.  Every day hurts because of Reece’s passing; many days I feel pretty good, but every day has some form of hurt.  I believe that the depth of hurt and loss is purposeful and it reminds me that this is not our permanent home.  I no longer worry much about what others think of me; I care about others, but very little about their judgments of me, my family, or my faith.  This reality has been one of the most freeing experiences in my life-to-date.  In losing Reece, I learned more about God, his love for Reece, his love for me and my family, and his plan for my life than the previous 32 years combined.  I love God, my husband, my kids, my family, my friends, and my life.

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