Early on in my pregnancy with Reece, I purchased a blue onesie. I remember holding it up as though there was a baby in it and saying, “I can actually feel him! I know he’s not here yet, but I can imagine what it will feel like to hold him.” Even though I couldn’t see him, I knew where he was and that I carried him with me. I pressed on through pregnancy with the hope that I would one day hold him and know him. Seven years ago today, that dream was realized when I held Reece in my arms for the first time. It was even better than I had imagined. Seven years later, I find myself in a similar situation as I was all those years ago when I was pregnant. I still know where he is and I still carry him with me. However, I can easily remember what he feels like to hold. I remember what it is like to run my hands through his thick, blonde locks and what a hug feels like when he wraps his arms around my neck and his legs around my torso and squeezes tight. I can see the sparkle in his eye when he flashes a look to signal he is about to turn around and take off running. I can hear his voice as he tells a joke and laughs in silliness. Those are treasures. It’s pure parenting bliss–it’s beautiful and he’s beautiful. Sometimes I feel like I can’t bear to wait any longer to see him again. But it will happen and that, my friends, is a beautiful thing. I know he’s not seven today. There are times where I feel bothered that I can’t see him at the ages I thought I would see him. It’s okay, though. I remember him and I’ll see him and embrace him again. It’s beautiful. Really–beautiful is the only word that comes to mind. I love him dearly.
Happy Birthday, Reece. I love you.