reece’s birthday

Early on in my pregnancy with Reece, I purchased a blue onesie.  I remember holding it up as though there was a baby in it and saying, “I can actually feel him!  I know he’s not here yet, but I can imagine what it will feel like to hold him.”  Even though I couldn’t see him, I knew where he was and that I carried him with me.  I pressed on through pregnancy with the hope that I would one day hold him and know him.  Seven years ago today, that dream was realized when I held Reece in my arms for the first time.  It was even better than I had imagined.  Seven years later, I find myself in a similar situation as I was all those years ago when I was pregnant.  I still know where he is and I still carry him with me.  However, I can easily remember what he feels like to hold.  I remember what it is like to run my hands through his thick, blonde locks and what a hug feels like when he wraps his arms around my neck and his legs around my torso and squeezes tight.  I can see the sparkle in his eye when he flashes a look to signal he is about to turn around and take off running.  I can hear his voice as he tells a joke and laughs in silliness.  Those are treasures.  It’s pure parenting bliss–it’s beautiful and he’s beautiful.  Sometimes I feel like I can’t bear to wait any longer to see him again.  But it will happen and that, my friends, is a beautiful thing.  I know he’s not seven today.  There are times where I feel bothered that I can’t see him at the ages I thought I would see him.  It’s okay, though.  I remember him and I’ll see him and embrace him again.  It’s beautiful.  Really–beautiful is the only word that comes to mind.  I love him dearly.

Happy Birthday, Reece.  I love you.